Note: This is an iPhone photo used just for this preview.
I just finished writing excerpts from my recovery journal overlapping and crossing text with various drawing pencils. The plan was to use this sheet to photograph and manipulate but I might play with a photocopy first. It took much longer than I expected it to. I wanted to make sure the page was covered with text. In some parts, I have sentences, paragraphs or two-word phrases. I wanted there to be enough text so that the text couldn’t be easily read. At the same time, I didn’t want so much text that it could be questioned whether I actually wrote anything coherent. I was surprised at some of the entries I had forgotten about. Some were very raw and hard to read. It was also odd writing these entries down by hand because my journal is typed. I never hand wrote an entry because it made me weary that it could get lost and put in the wrong hands. I know the same can be said for a word document, or worse with hacking and such, but it felt safer on the computer. It also allowed me to distance myself from my words. When I was handwriting these entries, I felt vulnerable. It was my handwriting telling my story. Early in the writing session, I blurred text out with a tissue because I didn’t want to see them. Other text, I wrote with my dark 8B wash pencil because I wanted it to stand out. Composition also was in the back of my head the whole time I was working on this. It was hard writing over the text but it was also powerful. Writing over the text reminded me that these words are my past. They will always be a part of me but I have more to say than the words from my recovery journal.